Im here.. Im here..

14 06 2014

Ok.. like I promised, an update, the 411, the scoop on what I am been up too.

For starters, I am still with my sweetie. We are going on 7 months and still going strong. He makes me laugh a lot, makes me feel pretty, he is fun, he is smart and adventurous. I can say, I see myself with him for a long time. He and I are big on trying to keep busy and try new things. We cleaned up the pool he has, so we can swim and I can work on getting my tan on. Next thing we are going to try (weather permitting of course) going on one of Florida’s long bike trails. See nature and get a good work out. I can’t wait. Honestly, been thinking about seriously just moving to Orlando where he is (well move in with him). I just need to find a job. Speaking of which, I am slowly in my heart feel its time that I leave my current job and find something better. So, I also been looking for a job on the side.

I also been looking for more hobbies other than photography (which I am trying to get back into). So I have been watching a lot of YouTube channels on metal detecting and coin collecting. Now I know what you are thinking, but I am telling you from what I seen and read so fair on the web about it all, it’s not only historical findings in it, you can also get money with your findings. I am a beginner and I don’t have a metal detector and I would have to save up for one. In the mean while, I am also looking into coin collecting. Now, I don’t know if I am 100% right or not, but some not a lot of coins made before 1970 like the quarter or half dollars, are made of real silver. I need to do more research on it all, but I spent most of my day looking through all my coins I have in the house and I found some old coins. The oldest one is a 1940 one cent penny. Keep in mind, a lot of pennies back then were made of copper. Then again, not sure if that is true or not, so I will be doing more digging. I will try to keep you posted on that.

Hmm what else… I am on a diet again. It’s hard, specially if I am bored for more than 30 minute cause then I will just eat. What I am doing is, I got an app on my phone that is helping me count my calories and the steps I take throughout the day. Basically, keep my ass moving. Overall, just cut back a lot of my food intake, more of the healthy stuff and stay active. Lost 2 pounds already the first week. Good start in my opinion. Well, I can’t think of anything else so I will be in touch. If anyone out there knows anything about coin collecting, shoot me a message. Any who, I will catch you all later. :)

-A





Im alive… promise!

12 06 2014

Hey everyone..

I am sorry for the lack of updating. Just been busy with life and going on mini adventures with my sweetie. Not forgetting the fact, working a lot too. I will have time this weekend, for a full update. So, hang in there :)

-A





Spring is here!

18 03 2014

Hello everyone :)

I don’t know how the weather is on your guys front, but here its beautiful. Everything is turning green and blooming with clear skies and temperatures up in the upper 70s, low 80s making it warm outside. I am loving it! Granted, yesterday it was all cloudy and rainy, but that is part of it all. Mother natures way of kicking everything back alive after a long shitty winter. :)

In fact, about a week or so ago, the boyfriend and I went canoeing. That’s right, you heard me..canoeing. Floating down that river with the weather the way it’s been was just beautiful. Very peaceful as well. I love how the creatures are being born during this time. We saw baby turtles, baby gators, new fish. Hell, that state park even had a natural spring (aquifer) you can swim in. It was hella cold, but it’s that way year around. We plan to go back there again before Spring is over and hike the area some or a lot. He also wants me to take up my hobby again.. photography. That place is great for taking pictures. The beauty of nature right now is at it’s best. We also plan to head out to the beach once the temps reach the 80s all day. He doesn’t like the beach much, but will go for me. I just love having an active boyfriend who is willing to try new things and go places to try to have a little fun. Oh, and I went swimming in his fresh clean pool this past Sunday! :)

Alright, I have to be honest. I am loving it again being in a city. You are close to everything. My boyfriend is 30 minutes (less on days with good traffic) from Universal and Island of Adventure, malls, state parks, events. He and I are trying not to rush things, but with the way things are I am seeing myself moving to Orlando before the year is over. I am just getting burnt out on this small town. Nothing to do here and you would have to drive over 40 minutes to even get anywhere, even if it’s just to the movies. Plus, work is not getting anywhere either or better. I am in a rut. It is like I am stuck going in circles in that place. So, I will have to quit and find something else in the city, or transfer to another store and hope that place is a little better. Just living here is not doing it for me. Feels like I am missing out on life staying here. I think I am at a point in my life to where, not only am I ready to settle down, but to have a real life. All I know is, being with him, I am coming out of my shell and want to see the world. <3

I am trying to mentally keep positive on things. Try not let fear or nerves talk me out of doing what I know in the long run be good for me. I know I will upset some people or make them mad if I leave etc. It will though show me who are my true friends and will be supportive. Anywho, I need to get some cleaning done around here then I am off to work. If you all like to chat with me or keep tabs on other things I am doing, you can do that by following me on twitter and instagram. I am on them a lot more than I am on here. Talk to you all later! :)

Twitter: @CuriousSpirit
Instagram: Curiousangel81

-A





Updates and stuff.. :)

20 02 2014

Hello everyone…

Like I promised, I am here to give you all updates with what I have been doing for the past few months. I honestly don’t know where to begin, lol.  Well, after my last post , “Dear John (pt 2)”, I wanted to avoid the internet a little bit. I tried to keep busy offline. Didn’t work out to well, but then something came over me. You know that feeling you get when you get in your gut that you need to try or do something? I for one, followed my gut and it led me to someone so awesome and amazing. Yes, I know I said in my last post I was going to be single for a while. Just I wasn’t going to seat around and keep thinking about all that is happened and try to pick it to pieces to learn about myself, etc. It would have just brought up old wounds and keep my mind and life going in circles. So, I picked myself up and met someone new. He is literally the best guy I have been with. We clicked on all levels! No joke! It was like we been together for years. I have no words to even begin to describe him. It’s like “God” finally understood what I needed in my life and he brought it in a form of a wonderful new love. He is adventurous, happy, positive, responsible, educated, got a awesome job (pays well), funny, loving, caring, romantic, supportive, fun MAN! He brings the best out of me. He is my best friend, I can tell him anything. He makes me feel better when I am having a bad day. He makes me laugh when I need it the most and tries to make a negativity into a positive.  Most of all, no drama in his life. We are going on 4 months and I am still smiling everyday day thanks to him. :)

On the other news, work is still the same. My hunny wants me to quit. I told him it wasn’t that easy to do that. Though he told me it was ok, and that he would help me. I told him, we will see how things go by the summer. I will either start looking serious for a new job (In Orlando where he is) or just quit. If I quit there are a lot of factors I have to consider, cause it would effect one other person cause they also relay on my income right now to pay my part of the bills. So, we will see where things go. I told him, when we are together for 6 whole months and if my debt is all paid off. We will talk some more about it, and  with my roommate. For now, I just enjoy my days off with him, doing new things and enjoying his company and love! :)

Overall, I am doing pretty good right now. I just have to fight my way through the mental stress of work and keeping a float here.  I also vow to try new things every week somehow. After all, isn’t that what life is all about? Experiencing its wonders and life? One thing that makes it all worth it, is being able to enjoy it with someone who makes life even better in the process. :)  Anywho, I am off to get some cleaning done and maybe finally getting my taxes done before I head off to work. I will be back soon! :)

-A





Happy New Year! :)

27 01 2014

Hey everyone…

No worries, I am alive and well. Happy at that too. I don’t have the time at this moment to give you all the juicy updates. I will say this. When you think positively, good things happen. I promise to update soon! Talk to you all soon! :)

 

-A





Dear John (Part 2)

12 11 2013

Dear Butthead,

It’s been over a week. I am oddly calm. It’s like I don’t feel anything right now. I don’t know if I am numb, or I actually don’t feel anything. At least right now anyway. I keep wondering why I am the way I am feeling. Then I come to understand maybe I am just in survival mode. That I am just going through stages to move on. While at the same time, learning more about myself and that all of this will make me grow into a better person. I still don’t hate you, that I do know for sure. People still believe I should have such hate and want to make your life miserable. I just don’t hate you and I don’t want to make you  miserable. Then I got to thinking, why do I not hate you when everyone is saying I should!?

 

I don’t hate anyone. Only their actions.  From what I know about your past and what you have gone through, you let what hatred people swing your way, if it by a relative or stranger or someone you know, you let it eat at you. You believe what they tell you. If someone calls you a loser, you believe it. If someone tells you, “you are crap and you wont amount to anything!” you believe it. You take that pain and hatred for yourself and you dish it out and look for people to make you feel different. Of course, that lands you to have more than one woman at a time. To feel that love, or to have someone fill that void even if it’s for a short period of time. The only person who can fill that void is yourself. It’s like I said in my last entry. You will never be fully happy and content until you learn to truly love yourself and respect yourself. Until you can do that, you will always do destructive behavior and take good people down with you.

I know right now, you are probably annoyed or a little pissed with what I am saying, but if what I am saying is wrong, you wouldn’t be upset or the fact you are sitting there right now feeling worse cause I am probably one of the few that honestly gets you and understands you. Now I know, you will run this off to your warden and you are going to talk big and bad, trash talk about what I am saying and about me to look big and bad to her, but that is a classic reaction to anything you do right now. She might think she has won, by putting you on lock down from speaking to any of your exes or just to me. Which is a classic sign of being insecure and jealousy. Cause remember, we allowed you to talk to your ex’s while with any of us, cause we were going to give you the benefit of the doubt and give you breathing room to get our trust back. What she is doing is only going to make things worse for the both of you in the long run. I don’t hate her either, just feel sorry for her. An it’s like I said, you better pray and hope she is worth it and is the one, cause what she doesn’t realize, whatever lines you feed her right now to make her feel better are the same lines you fed us. Cause if I or anyone of your ex’s still run across your mind (more than once a day) and you feel regretful, maybe you need to be honest with yourself and her, that you are just not ready to settle down or be serious cause you still care in ways you don’t want to admit.  Either way, I wish you both the best and I have no hard feelings towards either one.

I can go on forever like this, but I think you and the world get what I am saying. I still love you, and always will. Why? Cause I see the good in you. I see the love and loyalty in you. Just until you can truly love yourself, you can never feel such amazing love from being loyal to someone. The contentment you get out of that is the most amazing feeling ever. I will never forget you though. I will wonder if you are ok and if your happy. But I am sticking to never being able to trust you again, at least with my heart. I do mean it, once the warden releases the chains on you, I don’t mind being friends and civil (also doing that for your brothers sanity in all this.). You know how to get a hold of me.

I want to be single for a while. It will do me some good. Learn to trust people, and surround me with good people and live my life. Plus, I need to mentally work on myself. I am good person, so.. I forgive you. Take care of yourself butthead.

Sincerely,

Beavis

 





Dear John (Part 1)

4 11 2013

Dear Butthead,

I guess it has come down to this. I don’t even know if you are even going to read this or not, and I guess that is ok. I at least will have the world as my witness. I am not hear to bash, I am not here to make you feel worse (if you even feel bad at all).I am just going to say it as it is. From speaking to a few people and showing them all the proof from the very first time we really started talking. They agreed I need to do this (mostly for myself of course).

 

What you do to girls is wrong. Lying, deceiving, disrespecting and cheating on them is so wrong on soooo many levels. It destroys so many lives and leaves girls jaded and mistrusting of any other good real man out there. YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO GIRLS! An from speaking to other girls you have done this to over the course of just this year alone, we all agree that you can’t feel loved or important unless you get the attention from more than one girl at a time. Until you realize you need to learn to love being alone and love yourself, you will continue to do what you have been doing. If you see it or agree with it or not, you will. An WE ALL know that with her “grounding you” (aka lockdown) is only going to hold you back for so long. You know deep down you will be seeking attention else where eventually, if you haven’t done so already. Cause locking you down, is like keeping a lion in a very small cage, it will only destroy you (and I am not the only one who agrees with this, specially from those who known you for sooo long).

 

Here is what makes me the better person and tells me, I’m going to be ok. I don’t hate you hun. Maybe it’s the love I will always have for you or maybe I know deep down once you truly and honestly hit rock bottom, and grow into the man you are meant to be. I will have my days, where I am going to miss you or when I eat mac and cheese I am going to think of you or hear our song and think of you. Hell honestly, I miss our little conversations and I guess I will until time slowly numbs out that pain. Don’t get me wrong, I am very hurt, disappointed and very pissed off at you and will be for a while. An like everything else, time will also wash that away. One thing I do know is, I can never trust you again. Ever. Your chance of having that country life and other things we talked about (if that was even real and honest from your end) has sailed. This last blow up, was the last straw for me. I’M DONE. Everything is gone. So you better hope she was/is worth it. Now, I am open to being civil and just friends, sometime in the future. Right now, I need me some ME time. I need to work on myself and that is a journey of one.

 

 With some time passing I am going to go look for love. Real honest and deep love. I know I am worth loyalty. I am worth the kept promises, I am worth the attention, I am worth the respect. I am worth the passion. I am worth everything real honest love has to offer. AN BY GOD, I FUCKING DESERVE IT! An I am taking everything that has happen has a sign that it was meant to happen. Cause everything happens for a reason. I am going to be honest, there are a few out there that told me to seek revenge. But I am not. It’s childish, high school-ish and just more drama. So not my seen. Besides, karma has a funny way of always doing the dirty work. Might not be tomorrow, next week or 6 months from now, but what goes around comes around. You will have that ah-ha moment, the REAL ah-ha moment. You know what I mean by that. But I will say this, It’s like the song by Mariah Carey called “Someday”..

“You were so blind to let me go
You had it all but didn’t know
No one you’ll ever find will be
Closer to all your dreams than me
Believing the grass would be greener
 You told yourself, “I just don’t need her now”
But I know you’ll soon discover
You’re never satisfied with any other”

Look up the song to hear the rest.. it’s a song that been at my side since it came out. Anyhow, that is all.. for now. I am sure I will do another letter. For now I wish you all the best and wish things get better for you. Good-Bye.

Sincerely,
 Beavis








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