Keeping Busy.

3 07 2012

Ok.. so I didn’t update yesterday like I said I would, sorry. Just life called and I went out with one of my best friends to meet up with our other best friend to take her to dinner.  It was a well needed good time. An that would make it the twice in the past 3 days that I actually had a social outing that involved a lot of laughing.  Which like I said, well needed and fun. We would have gone out again today, but one of my friends is a mother and the other one is a full-time student. So, I am taking this as a I should get my lazy ass in gear and get some things done before I have to go back to work and slave for close to another week.

For starters, I need to start writing to my adopted soldiers again. I picked up a unit with my group of ladies I am friends with.  It’s a weekly thing and when/if they respond it will keep me busy, specially if more than one write back.  An if you are still wondering how to help out, check out the places I volunteer at by reading my pervious entry called, “Volunteer Work.”.   I love doing this. It’s the only way I know how to say thank you and show my deepest respect.  Specially with tomorrow being 4th of July.

I didn’t go to the gym today like I wanted too, only cause I have things to do that I have putting off. Besides, I am wanting to step up my work out this week even more by trying new things. I will go alone and my goal is to burn more than 600 calories both days. I will do first 35 minutes of cardio then 15-20 minutes of weight resistance (specially abs), then another 30 minutes of cardio. I know it’s a lot, but I am trying to get out a lot of  feelings and thoughts. Specially being I can’t tell this person how I feel. It’s nothing negative, but I miss him and I am trying to function. Plus,  when you miss him and feel alone it’s hard sometimes, specially if you are a person like me that is so full of love and passion, and you have to keep it all to yourself it’s really hard.  This is why I shift my passion into working out and volunteering. I’m also trying to throw myself into a book or get myself to do some research. Anything to get my mind of him!  Ugh, this sucks!

Love is hard when there is distance between you and them.  I can close my eyes and see his face, and hope I can in that split second feel his arms around me or his kiss before reality slaps me back.  I think this is where people would tell me, “sometimes love hurts!”. But love isn’t suppose to hurt, right?  God, I need to throw my mind into something that would involve focus and concentration, like doing research on the stars or the planets (love learning about the universe..such a nerd). Fuck, at this point I am willing to pick up my old school books to get my mind off him. Besides between you and I, and I know this sounds weird, but I sometimes feel like I can feel him…  arg!!!!!!! 😦

I’m ok…I will be ok anyway. I am nerd with a strong heart and passion, with a good dose of compassion that will make it in this world if it kills me. Well, I am off to keep busy. Clean, read, write and do some research of some sort.  Hell,  along with doing everything else, have my headphones on and drown out the world in the process too.

Anyway, I wish everyone a Happy and safe 4th of July and remember to thank a soldier, cause with out them we wouldn’t have the freedom we are celebrating.

Later.

-A

 

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2 responses

5 07 2012
ivegotsomethingonmymind

I think that you and I are one in the same. Ever since this breakup with me and my last boyfriend, i literally called my best friend and told her that i feel like i have so much passion and love to give to everyone now. Because of my circumstance, i had to harbor in all those feelings and sometimes it makes you nuts. I dont blame you for feeling the way you feel–lol. I too, also throw myself into work to get my mind off things. Do you know how many org.’s i have joined for the sake of keeping myself “busy?” oh lord.

6 07 2012
fadedkitty81

I am glad I am not alone, lol! I mean, my feelings usually go towards my one good ex and then the other half goes to a guy I totally have a deep crush on, but so scared to let out my feelings with being so hurt on so many levels. Sucks!!

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