Love?

6 07 2012

I am going to start this off with saying, I am nowhere near perfect when it comes to love. Personally, I think was born to love. I give more than I get back. Always been that way. I have screwed up a few times and I have gotten hurt in ways I don’t wish on my enemies. I grew up not knowing what love, marriage and happiness is when finding a mate. My parents weren’t really the greatest example as I was growing up. So, I was left with wondering what love really was. Granted, on my path to finding that one love, I have been with some of the coldest assholes on the planet and I been at least with two that were great but to many things kept us from moving forward, so the relationship had to end. God, that was pain.  Specially when you thought you had it all.. it gets ripped from you. It hard to trust a relationship when you are just waiting for that other shoe to drop and you are left out in the cold again, just to start all over again.

I am not giving up though. Just like I was born to love, I was born to fight.  Some call it passion and the will to live. I call it survival. Some people were born in this world to be happy and content on their own, the rest of us were born to love and to be with somebody. I think part of our journey in this life is to find that one person that is willing to accept you for all that you are, flaws and all. An believe you me, I have some flaws that would drive any man nuts. But hey, I am who I am. I am also at the stage of my life for a huge change. I don’t really know what that is at this moment, but I feel it deep in my core.

I just want that one guy that would love me for all that I am. Flaws, habits, willing to understand me, be my best friend, lover, partner in crime, push me to be a better person in this world, make me smile a lot, never to pass judgment or negativity on me, and to really get I am not perfect.  I will screw up sometimes, but I learn from my mistakes and I try to move forward. Most of all, I want him to fight for our love. When I feel like I want to throw in the towel in a fight, grab me, pull me close and kiss me. Overall, learn from one another.

Blah.. I am rambling aren’t I? Sorry. Just I am at that point where I want that rock and friend to come home too.  I will get there one way or another.

Anyway, I need to get my day started. Sadly, I work later on today. Sucks.

-A

 

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