Broken. Part 2.

31 10 2012

I must be totally numb cause I don’t really feel broken at the moment. Then again, could it be I didn’t love him that much? Hell, I don’t know! I am still confused, angry.  Shit… who am I kidding. I don’t know what and how I feel right now. All I know is, I need to work on me.  An if that involves, not talking to talking to him or any other males really, so be it. I actually haven’t spoken to him now in over a week. I am proud of myself. Usually, I would have by now been all over him demanding answers, etc and I haven’t. I left him alone like he requested. Well, honestly, I left him alone for more like my sake and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with drama and lies. So, I totally took the high road and told myself to let it go (for now).  An giving him the space and silence must be eating at him, cause at 6:41 a.m., he sent me a text about my Kimono (yes I bought one cause I am interesting in learning self-defense, and he teaches) and  he was letting me know when he will be finally be able to send it to me, etc. Seeing is believing really, and I DID NOT REPLY and don’t plan on it. I just don’t really believe or trust anything he says right now, so it’s whatever. I give him another 7 days, and then his roommate (who is my friend) says, “If he doesn’t send it, I will send it to you myself!”. He is not much of his roommate favorite either right now.

Speaking of roommate. His roommate and I have been talking a lot.  No, it’s nothing like that, but being that we have that asshole in common, we just talk. We even stayed up very, very late one night talking on the phone. He is brutally honest and sweet. The kid (he is 21… What? Don’t judge!),  has a lot going on and is smart about the things he does. He has a good heart and can be trustworthy. He knows, I am not trusting any MALES at the moment and he respects that. I see myself being close friends for with for a long time. He is talented too. He can draw and plans to do tattoos. I am going to let him practice on me, by doing a Hannah tattoo. I just want to once in my life just see what a tattoo would look like on me. Hannah tattoos fade away over time, so it won’t stay.  I am going to get a butterfly on my shoulder-blade or in between my shoulder blades. Don’t know. It will be a long time before it happens. I have to see him again for it to happen, or he will come down here on vacation and do it. He is a good guy and I see him being a very close friend of mine.

Overall, I am just going to try to be happy on my own and live my life the best way I can. I am going to try to look into online schools again and try to see whats out there.  I still don’t know what I am going to go to school for, but I will think of something. On Saturday my best friends and I are going to our friend Mike’s wedding and maybe who knows, we will hit the town afterwards. A lot of laughing and memories. I don’t know what I would do without my girls. They are supportive and caring, but if you were to do something totally stupid or something they don’t agree with, they will tell you and try to talk you out of it out of concern. They like are my voice of reason. An don’t get me wrong, they are also my partners in crime, lol. Work calls us, “Triple Trouble”. We just make people laugh and nervous cause we are a force to be messing with. lol.

Anyway, it’s Halloween and  I am going be home sick (YAY!! <–sarcasm). It’s ok, being curled up in bed watching scary movies, while the weather is cool/cold (yes Florida is getting the taste of fall/winter early) is not all that bad. So, you all enjoy your day, stay warm and safe! 🙂

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

-A

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