True One. Part One.

5 09 2012

Well…shit. Ok, so I didn’t post anything before my trip, sorry! Just the few days leading up to the trip it got busy. An truthfully, I am still adjusting not being on vacation and I got back on the 31st. I am trying really hard not to say “fuck it!!” and drop everything and run back. Seeing him was just natural. Wasn’t nervous once or scared. The surrounding enviroment was peaceful. I didn’t get one stress chest pain. I was relaxed and willing and wanting to learn everything I could as I was with him. I  mean, I felt utterly safe and content. I am going back as soon as work lets me.


The love I felt is strong. Makes me miss him a lot. I am honestly lost for words when it comes to my trip. I didn’t even take a whole lot of pictures either. Just the memories, emotions and smell is still very strong. Not a lot of words were spoken either. I mean we did talk a lot, but when it came to how we felt, we didn’t have to say much. We just knew and were in the moment. He lives in the moment and goes with what he feels. He doesn’t second guess himself. I love him for all that he is. I accept him. I don’t want to change one thing about him. What makes me feel settled with him (if that is the right word) is he took me as I am. No make up and wasn’t shy in touching me. An I am self-conscious about my body, but he loves me. I mean, I have to be dreaming here. I am so not going to rush this with him. One day at a time and enjoy every second of it.


We are both still sacred cause we been hurt badly before, but in finding the “true one” is never easy and when you find it, you do what it takes to make sure it’s done right. To physically be together for good, we both have to take care of things that were there before we met. So, slow it is. I told him, I am willing to go at the pace he wants to go. Hell, if he were to ask me to move up there right now, I would do it. But I know he is wanting to take care of things first and then when the time and moment is right, he will ask in his own way.  Sadly, even though I am here at home, it doesn’t feel like home after being there and with him. Cause home is where the heart is. So, in a nutshell….

I am in love. Happy. Safe. Content. Alive.